Cat Show 7/17/20

Friday Cat Show. July 17, 2020

VG: OK, guys. I’ll let you do most of the commenting today, since I am in a bad mood, and don’t want to be too sarcastic or angry.

HOBBS: Why are you in a bad mood? Just because you have a bad case of poison ivy? What’s wrong with a little scratching? I do it all the time. Besides, you got what you deserve. You would not let me play in the yard, keeping it all to yourself. Now deal with it.

ALICE: Don’t rub it in, Hobbs. Let Vladimir suffer and feel miserable. He loves to do that. While I’d rather talk about the evil Russians. If they can steal the secrets of our western, i.e. British vaccine, they can steal anything. Including the elections. I won’t survive another four years of Trump. This dictatorship of evil and stupid white men has to stop. We need progress. We need climate control. We need free medicine. And most of all, we need the heads of all white men’s sculptures.

HOBBS: I know that British press is very creative. Look at BBC and their colorful reports. But still, they always surprise me with their resourcefulness when it comes to Russian mischief. Skripals. British elections. Vaccines. London properties. Football clubs. It is as if Tolkien had joined Dickens, Trollope, and Conan Doyle, and began to write the script for the TV mega hit: “Scratch a Brit and Find a Russian.”

VG: It looks haphazard only on the surface. But there is always method in this madness. Russians might have a medicine to treat the virus, so we have to mire them in dirt and distract attention from their achievements. They might be working with US in achieving some sort of peaceful solution in Afghanistan – come up with the story of some sort of Russian bounty hunters. British public thinks positively of Brexit, throw in Skripal poisoning and make everyone paranoid. Possible agreement on Syria is within reach: Russians bombs another hospital. In other words: Russians are both terribly inventive and incredibly stupid, as they are always caught doing their most incredible stunts.

HOBBS: That makes sense. In other words, we are dealing with cynical calculations based on psychological projections. I am surprised that in the fight between Johnny Depp and his wife, we haven’t heard of Russians yet. Of course, on some level, it is only fair. For years, the Soviets would blame anything negative in their country on western tricks, sabotage, and interference. Blaming others and creating scapegoats always pays. As a Black cat, I know it firstpaw.

ALICE: Well, in that case, you are blaming Brits and creating your own scapegoat. Let’s face it, Russians became the emblem of these conservative unrepentant white men who will kill for their petty privileges. It is high time we declare all people who voted for Trump – Russians, and deport them. And then we’ll establish brand new progressive CHAZ all over the country. No police, free food, free meetings and assemblies where we’ll be able to debate endlessly who’ll be out next “whitey,” and whom we’ll banish next. I suggest anyone who is over sixty and managed to survive the virus, should be exiled too. There is something suspicious about such a group. They must have been helped with some secret Russian vaccine to make it, despite all the best efforts of our most progressive governors to round up everyone into old folks homes, where they could have died quietly and without interference or complaints.

VG: You can’t be serious, Alice. Your ideas are terrible. How do you manage to get something that cruel into your head?

ALICE: Well, like one of those Dostoevsky characters, I start with the idea of absolute freedom, and pursue it logically, until I get an absolute tyranny. People complain about cat’s logic, but believe me, our logic follows the best example of human logic, the logic of the elites. Only we can puke all over the place, and push off the table one item after another, claw apart your favorite chair, and then sit on your lap, purr, and shower you with admiration for putting up with this. That’s what I call logic. Ask any fat cat from Wall St, or from military/intelligence and they’ll confirm it. And Trump, by the way, is very logical.

HOBBS: I knew you would end up with Trump. That’s your only excuse for all the crap you and your NYT reading public supports. “Trump is worse”: Biden is an establishment tool, but Trump is worse. Hillary is a bat out of hell, but Trump is worse. It is tiresome, honestly. But I would like to come back to Vladimir’s point about method in madness. I would agree. Look at the way the West always brings the ghost of the Russian threat, when there are some tangible results of Russia’s progress. Start with the Crimean War of the XIX century. Oh, Russia is a threat to Ottomans, let’s attack them. Look at WWII. Russians are justifiably proud of their heroism, which enabled them to defeat the Nazis while surviving cruel methods of Stalin. Yet, to spoil this confidence and pride, the west has to come up with “Russia is a threat to Eastern Europe; Stalin made a deal with Hitler” and all nonsense that would mire Russians in endless controversies and arguments, and make them go at each other like Americans do over Trump.

VG: Good point, Hobbs. The pattern, of course, continues. The minute modern Russia began to form partnership with EU, and Germany in particular – their natural allies – in comes the turmoil in Ukraine, and Russia is a threat again. I just hope that there are enough smart people in Kremlin and everywhere else to ignore this endless noise and static, and continue to chart the course, which is beneficial to the country.

HOBBS: Of course, as the NATO countries keep on pushing their agenda of sowing discord both within Russia, and between Russia and its neighbors, expect more accusations of Russia sowing discord all over the west. Between Dems and Reps, between Labour and Tories, within any of these groups. Remember, they even dug out some stupid Russian red-head who was supposed to sow discord among NRA maniacs. That should be easy, by the way. Just tell them that AK 47 is better than M-16, and see what’ll happen.

ALICE: I don’t want to hear about guns. Vladimir, please stop the show. Guns should be issued only to the US army—the universal cop, which needs guns so that they would not use the knee on the neck of the world, which would make them look nasty.